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If Vibes Could Kill…

How to Han­dle Those Dif­fi­cult Dynamics

A ques­tion I get often from clients is “What’s the best way of deal­ing with par­tic­i­pants who are resis­tant or out­right hostile?”

When I ask them “How many par­tic­i­pants is that in a typ­i­cal audi­ence?” the answer is usu­ally “one is enough,” or “none yet, but I know I’ll get them!” Although our fear of hos­til­ity in an audi­ence is real, it may take on bigger-than-life pro­por­tions. The best pre­sen­ters are authen­tic in front of an audi­ence, and there­fore per­son­ally exposed. That, I believe, is the source of the fear.

I cut my teeth with resis­tant audi­ences a few years ago. I designed and pre­sented manda­tory classes in super­vi­sory skills for law enforce­ment pro­fes­sion­als in one big-city depart­ment. Imag­ine the crossed arms, squeak­ing leather and flat affect as the cops leaned back in their chairs and gave me the “vibe!”

This three-year expe­ri­ence boosted my abil­i­ties to deal effec­tively with resis­tance. I grew thicker skin, became more detached and bet­ter grounded. Of course, it was also essen­tial to know my stuff and present with author­ity and rea­son. The expe­ri­ence was extremely help­ful to my devel­op­ment as a presenter.

Resis­tant dynam­ics can be found in any audi­ence. Here are three essen­tial tech­niques to address it effectively.

Three Steps to Deal With Dif­fi­cult Dynamics

1. Check Your­self.
Most of our fear as pre­sen­ters is actu­ally about us. Ask your­self: What am I feel­ing about this audi­ence? Why? What’s the worst that could hap­pen? How can I get inter­nally bal­anced and grounded before get­ting up in front of them?

Pre­pare your­self emo­tion­ally and phys­i­cally. Make sure you’ve had enough to eat, and plenty of water. If you find your­self going “on stage” expect­ing the worst and/or not being pre­pared for as many ques­tions and chal­lenges as pos­si­ble, you do your­self and your audi­ence a mis­er­able disservice.

2. Don’t Try to “Fix” Peo­ple.
Your goal is to present to the best of your abil­ity. It is not your goal to “fix” people’s behav­iors. In my expe­ri­ence, a par­tic­i­pant act­ing in a hos­tile or resis­tant way is a symp­tom of under­ly­ing prob­lems and anx­i­eties in the group. Even if that par­tic­u­lar per­son were to mag­i­cally dis­ap­pear, the resis­tant energy will likely be taken up and voiced by some­one else. Acknowl­edge and respect the dynam­ics in the room. Detach from them.

3. Present as if Every­one Were Uncom­mit­ted.
I bor­row from Don Pfarrer’s book, Guerilla Per­sua­sion, for this third tip. I’ve found it incred­i­bly help­ful, and so have my clients.

Assume that in every audi­ence, there are those who are friendly to you and your mes­sage, those that are hos­tile, those that are indif­fer­ent and those that are sim­ply uncom­mit­ted. Address­ing the Uncom­mit­ted seg­ment pro­vides a sen­si­ble strat­egy to deal with the many simul­ta­ne­ous cross­cur­rents in the audience.

You’ll only be able to reach the Uncom­mit­ted by speak­ing in tones of mod­er­a­tion, patience, good cheer and rea­son. You won’t have to feel appre­hen­sive about waves of ani­mos­ity com­ing your way, nor tempted to cut cor­ners by assum­ing sup­port where it might not exist.

All Audi­ence Seg­ments Ben­e­fit When You Focus on the Uncommitted.

Audi­ence Segment What Do They Want from the Experience? Dan­gers of Focus­ing Only on This Segment? How This Seg­ment Ben­e­fits When You Focus on the Uncommitted
“Friend­lies” Sat­is­fac­tion, affin­ity. Per­haps a pep-talk. Too easy — you may assume too much. Their knowl­edge and com­mit­ment is deepened.
“Hos­tiles” To see you fail. To hear you say some­thing ill-natured or wrong. Increases your own ner­vous­ness and defen­sive­ness. You may come off abra­sively and unlikable. They expe­ri­ence human respect, open­ness and rea­son from you (and are likely to mir­ror the behavior.)
“Indif­fer­ents” To be left alone and unchanged. To the exclu­sion of the rest of the audi­ence, you may tie your­self up into knots try­ing get a response. They may get the mes­sage, while not being ham­mered by you.
“Uncom­mit­teds” To expe­ri­ence a rea­soned, well-thought-out, good-natured expo­sure to the issues. NONE! They get the best of YOU: affin­ity and reason.YOU won’t cut cor­ners by assum­ing sup­port where it might not exist.YOU are forced to con­struct and present your mes­sage thor­oughly, per­sua­sively and with confidence.

The bot­tom line is: KNOW YOUR STUFF. Be ready for ques­tions and chal­lenges. By check­ing your­self, not try­ing to “fix” audi­ence mem­bers, and focus­ing on the Uncom­mit­ted, you take great strides towards more resiliency and effec­tive­ness as a presenter.


Read more arti­cles about Pre­sen­ta­tion Skills. Learn about Guila Muir’s Pre­sen­ta­tion Skills Workshops.

Guila Muir is the pre­miere trainer of train­ers, facil­i­ta­tors, and pre­sen­ters on the West Coast of the United States. Since 1994, she has helped thou­sands of pro­fes­sion­als improve their train­ing, facil­i­ta­tion, and pre­sen­ta­tion skills. Find out how she can help trans­form you from a bor­ing expert to a great pre­sen­ter: www.guilamuir.com

© 2007 Guila Muir. All rights reserved.
You may make copies of this arti­cle and dis­trib­ute in any media so long as you change noth­ing, credit the author, and include this copy­right notice and web address.

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